Super Bowl & Vacation

Gno the Packer lawn gnome.

We had a few friends over for the Superbowl.  Since we're Wisconsin people, Green Bay making it in was pretty exciting.  This is Gno the impaler, our mascot.  My 4 year old niece wrapped her beads around his head so he'd be more festive.  She also tried to give Wanda some beads but that didn't go over very well.

Mavis hates when we have people over.  HATES.  She hates it so much she runs to the basement and climbs into the rafters and settles into the drop ceiling on the finished half of the basement.  She slowly creeps out when they all leave and is covered in dust and ceiling tile mess.  And since she's black, I feel like I have to clean her off with a towel, which she also hates.  Wanda on the other hand loves having company.  It's almost as if she thinks people are there to see her.  She even does cute little things like this...

Don't be fooled...

Sure, it's cute when she does that. but the minute you try to touch her, she attacks and tries to eat you.  Two of my friends that were over for the big game are not Wanda fans.  It's not that they dislike Wanda, they fear her.  Even the 4 year old knows that Wanda's kind of a jerk and that she should leave her alone.  But not these 2 boys.  One friend spent the evening hiding his feet from Wanda in fear that she would devour them, and the other made fake cat hiss noises at her most of the evening.  I of course, encouraged her to attack by calmly saying "WANDA!  ATTACK!" while she was curled up next to me being super cute.  If my guests would just realize that I have CATS, and not DOGS things would be easier.  Cats don't like to be messed with. 

Mavis doing her "belly rub?" face

Cats also don't like vacations.  I just got back from Texas where I went on a lovely vacation with some of the ladies in my family.  Vacations are always excellent.  Unless you have pets.  Especially cats. Wanda and Mavis hate vacation.  Typically when husband and I go out of town, we have our good friend JP come watch the girls.  She's awesome with them and Mavis even lays on her lap, which is very unusual for her given that she's afraid of everything and everyone.

I've learned that when I'm going on vacation, I cannot put my suitcase out until the night before I'm leaving lest I end up getting a scratched up, cat hair covered bag to take to the airport.  Wanda is the worst.  I know you're surprised.  This time I was smart.  I had all of my clothes in a laundry basket that I kept on top of the hamper so all I had to do was transfer them into my suitcase.  I did that at about 10pm on Tuesday to leave for the airport at 430am on Wednesday.  By 1030pm, Wanda had somehow wedged her kitty paw into the half zipped case and made a nest on top of my clothes.  When my alarm went off in the morning, she jumped off the bed and promptly used my bag as a scratching post.  Also, on my way out the door at 430 in the damn morning, I discovered some cat puke on my kitchen rug.  A little going away present from one of the girls....Since husband didn't come with me on this vacation, I called him everyday to check in and see how he was getting along without me.  He reported that the girls were missing me and sitting in the kitchen staring at the door at times, waiting for me to come home.  Talk about loyalty!!  And from cats!

They were very excited when I got home. They've spent the last few days sleeping, playing and dragging 8 toys up the stairs while we sleep and leaving them on the landing outside our bathroom door.

Christmas Is The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This weekend husband I put up the Christmas decorations in our house.  Including our Christmas tree.  It's not the tree that bothers the girls, it's all the reflective surfaces that dance across the walls and ceilings.  This is especially apparent to Wanda.  Wanda loves reflective crap.  The 3 hours it took me to set up my Christmas tree were littered with cat rockets darting from one end of the room to the other, and then jumping up the wall to try and catch the latest reflective surface that dared to bounce off the walls.

Three years ago we had a 3ft tinsel tree that I thought was glorious.  Husband did not.  Mavis and Wanda did not either, because they knocked that sucker down once a week until I got so frustrated that I just put it away.  They've grown considerably since that  first Christmas.  Now I can even hang icicles from even the lowest branches and when they squish under the tree to lay underneath it like little presents they don't even knock them off.  It's just putting up the tree and taking it down that are the real highlights of Christmas.  Mavis was so traumatized from me screaming like a banshee during the tinsel tree year that she barely goes near the tree.  She's such a cautious little beast....unlike Wanda.  It seems that to Wanda, being under the tree is totally normal.  When I finally get around to wrapping presents and putting them under the tree, she'll use her chub to move those suckers out of her way and lay among them.  I don't even bother anymore...I'll wait until right before people come over to actually put out any presents so as to give Wanda free reign over the tree. 

This is what happens when people don't have kids...

I Love Cats

I've always been a cat person.  My parents brought home Frankie, our first cat when I was 5 years old and even though he was really just my Mom's cat, I loved that he was there.  Frank lived 18 years before we had to have him put to sleep.  After Frank came John, tiny little black fluff ball we got from the Humane Society.  John turned out to be a giant cat...he's now a very healthy 17lbs.  He's a Burmese, which the vet says is a "big" breed, but doesn't stop people from coming to my parents house and exclaiming "WHOA! THAT'S A BIG CAT!"  


Something that drives me absolutely crazy is when people say "I hate cats."  Really?  Hate?  Hate is a really strong word.  One that should be reserved for things like terrorism, Celine Dion music, clowns, cancer, or that film that builds up on your bathtub when you have hard water.  But cats?  They're animals!  Sure, some cats can be real assholes.  I'm not doubting that.  But by and large, to hate a whole species is pretty stupid.   I don't hate cats.  In fact, I love them.  Most cats are pretty cool.  There are some, like my old roommate's cat, Whitney Houston that are more challenging than others.  Whitney is a little firecracker of sass--if you sat at the computer too long, she'd come over and start gnawing on your toes...or if you were sleeping too late and she didn't like that, she'd very casually go knock over a plant.  

Mavis likes to be involved.

Mavis & Wanda are my cats.  I was stupid enough to bring Mavis home from the Humane Society when my roommate and I were living together.  With Whitney Houston.  Who clearly wanted to be dominant over everyone, including poor little 1.8lb Mavis.  It is because of Whitney Houston that Mavis is the docile, scardey cat that she is.   Don't get me wrong...when there's no strangers in the house and there's no loud noises or bags rustling, or wind blowing, Mavis is a total lover.  She likes to be involved.  She likes to spend time with you, and she loves laps and naps.  Most especially naps on laps.


After roomate moved out, I adopted Wanda.  Wanda is her own special flavor of crazy.  When people say they hate cats, typically they're talking about the Wanda's of the world.  Wanda is really just MY cat.  She's bossy, aggressive, dominant and a little bit wacko.  From day1 with Wanda she was crazy.  The whole way home in the car she struggled to escape and tried to viciously claw my mom's face off with her tiny little kitten claws.  Once we got home, Mavis, being a year older than her, came over to sniff the new little creature we came in with and Wanda promptly jumped on her head.  Thus confirming that Mavis would never, ever dominate anything in the house, save for the occasional sparkle ball, and her all time favorite toy, abandoned shoe lace.

Wanda.  Dominating clown nose...

The dynamic in our house works like this.  Husband and Mavis are quieter by nature and are more go with the flow.  When the unexpected happens, or crisis takes place, both hide in their own way.  Husband avoids me and reassuringly says "it'll be fine...." and Mavis hides in the basement ceiling.


Wanda and I, on the other hand, tear around the house and make messes.


And so it goes in our house...